The club can’t even handle me right now. #genius #mathtest #collegealgebra #takethatUCF

the-cimmerians:

i am crying too hard over your prettiness to even call you a dick

It’s the most important day of the year!!! 👑🍰🎂🎉🎊🎈🎁

owlmylove:

When I was 10, I saw

my first episode of Law & Order, SVU

a woman screamed

and her pretty pink dress ripped

the scene cut to black but then

she sat in a station

hair mussed and mascara running

and she seemed broken

and empty

and that’s when I began to prepare

for the inevitable.

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inebriatedpony:

abandonedography:

9 of the Most Fascinating Abandoned Mansions from Around the World

All you Bond villains looking for a stylish evil operations base, take note.

forget-me-notsandmarigolds:

Weekend Update: Stefon’s Farewell (Saturday Night Live) (by NBC)

“I’m sorry. This is the first time I’ve hired a maid.”

I just slathered aloe all over my poor sunburned ass and I feel like Jesus himself kissed me.