The club can’t even handle me right now. #genius #mathtest #collegealgebra #takethatUCF
i am crying too hard over your prettiness to even call you a dick
It’s the most important day of the year!!! 👑🍰🎂🎉🎊🎈🎁
When I was 10, I saw
my first episode of Law & Order, SVU
a woman screamed
and her pretty pink dress ripped
the scene cut to black but then
she sat in a station
hair mussed and mascara running
and she seemed broken
and that’s when I began to prepare
for the inevitable.
All you Bond villains looking for a stylish evil operations base, take note.
Weekend Update: Stefon’s Farewell (Saturday Night Live) (by NBC)
“I’m sorry. This is the first time I’ve hired a maid.”
I just slathered aloe all over my poor sunburned ass and I feel like Jesus himself kissed me.